dead trees and numb hands

as i sit in a small town in georgia my mind flutters with the history of this place. its a town that honors the men who have fallen on its fields. men who stood for their beliefs and gave their blood for something greater than them.

they say history repeats itself. this war so long ago still holds the same theme that everyone encounters in their lifetime; the dilemma between conservation and change. the confederacy stood for conservation of their culture and the notion of change sparked a war that changed everything. the civil war epitomizes the freedom we all hold sacred.

we cannot "throw stones" however, everyone fears change in some aspect; even if the change itself is most beneficial. they wanted to conserve slavery, but we all have our vices. slavery is wrong but we have all been wrong before. i fear everyday life has blinded me to see what is really going on in my life. i am in the best years of my life and then notion that this will one day change is very realistic and very frightening. we all live in our comfort zones and a change for anything is very threatening. we are all at war within ourselves.

this is a town of dead trees and numb hands. the trees are the past which can never be changed. the hands are the present which blinds us of the past. this is a country of dead trees and numb hands.

buckeyes

I long for something more with you

You've shown me beauty in the world ain't always just skin deep

my knotted tongue forced me to write another song

I mispronounce words and even stumble over verses

even when you're not around

I remember red hair, cigarette smoke and laughing about buckeyes.

wait

Has my heart stopped beating? I am alive but do I feel alive? At times life jumbles in to a mess of late nights, empty conversations, starbucks and waiting. You walk through life, hoping to catch the eye of a few skirts. All those Disney movies made it clear find your soul mate and live happily ever after. Easy enough right? So you wait for it to happen. Then you get to the point where you are so concerned with waiting that life seems to take a giant leap forward. Your friends are married, your old girlfriend just had her first child and here you are… still the same shy boy from the ninth grade. Still waiting. You look at everyone else, with their goals and plans of making it big in the next couple of years. You dream of a prize wife, a new beamer and a two acre lawn. Perhaps all of these things will let everyone else know how happy you want to be. Maybe after all the work you’ve done for yourself you will finally be happy. Still waiting. Your hope for a better future has a numbing effect on the scars left from your past.